After finding a willing partner, we reveled in fooling gravity for seconds within time. Face to face, we moved in rhythmic motion and remained in-sync until interrupted by an echoing call for either one of us to head home. Often, it was I who remained, so I continued my rebellion. Shortly after a number of take offs, my legs would tire. Defying gravity wasn’t an easy task alone. I used less energy swinging over the lake of lava to escape a mob of rabid baboons, than I did pushing myself off the ground. The feeling of elation subsided and dissatisfaction took its place. But, I never got up despite it.
Much like a seesaw, we each experience rising and falling motions and moments throughout life, whether it be of joyous outcomes or mental turmoil.
My seesaw rides have been retired for years now, but I was reminded of its undoubted affect while coming to terms with my breakup. Once again, I was left to defy gravity alone, but this time, I was defying my own need for happiness and balance. My emotions wavered much like a restless river for months on end. I tried focusing my energy on cultivating a positive heart and mind, but not much came of my noble efforts. And even on days where euphoria seemed less of a distant galaxy, I was evacuating long before I could root myself in its healing power.
Heartbreak felt as if I were spinning uncontrollably through a barren desert. Luckily for me, I bumped into sanity after having a go with a few cacti and it was then I realized, I was costing myself more heartache to exist within the rhythm of rising and falling verses restoring balance by simply getting off and walking away.
Many of us exhibit the affects of the seesaw effect, but living through constant highs and lows of lackluster existence can end.
Get off the ride.