Rose petals and lavender float above my immersed body in a bath I’ve drawn for us. The smell of grapefruit and citronella travel with the steam escaping into the ethers. Let the angels know I send my well wishes.
There are things aching inside of me besides this tired spine and knees that crack with any given step. Course salt dissolves between my toes and all I can think about is drawing out my pain the way salt draws moisture from damp places. Tonight, I won’t use sticks of honey and sweet melodies to trick you into leaving the darkest parts of me you love the most. Tonight, I simply open myself up to you, deliberately immersing myself in your murkiness.
I know you feel unworthy of love and acceptance. This seems to haunt you, but it’s a ghost you have never asked to leave. Why do you fear the ones you love abandoning you? You spend so much of your time shuffling behind torn curtains and sifting through broken glass wondering why they would ever consider staying. What could they possibly find enchanting about these shadowy ruins? I can feel your resistance; shying away from hearts who see your ugliness and find it wondrous. You swiftly sweep collected dust under matted rugs when they admire the strange art on the walls and shout at them when you feel they have over stayed their welcome.
Rippling teary eyed reflections. I never meant for the salt to burn.
I didn’t bring you to these waters to drown you. I brought you here to show you how to swim.
So tonight I honor you.
Tonight, we will make your pain beautiful.